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Good first okc messages

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3 Message Examples & Tricks to Hold Her Attention*

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So I started branching out a bit, messaging guys who had a lot of good going but who might be even better when we'd meet IRL. Alex: This message sounds like you want to teabag her. Sometimes I wish I knew 4 weeks ago what I know now. Maria: The message to her is kind of cringey, but not creepy, so that's alright.

The One That Brings Up Sex Way Too Soon. So it ends up that for practical reasons, I probably respond to about 2% of the guys that contact me.

Is this a good first message to send on a dating site?

In my 20s, I was bold and brash... I made up for lost single gal time by bouncing from one fabulous mini-relationship or fling to another, until I naturally slowed down after that 30-year mark. Finding that next great guy became harder in my 30s: I don't party as often, I work from home, and while I now have more to offer a partner, I'm not as assertive about finding sex or love as I was in my younger years. OkCupid tells ladies that those who reach out to men get better-quality matches. My guy friends lament the poor rate of return of first messages. So what would it look like if I were to make the first move? What would those responses look like, by the numbers? Would I get quality responses from guys I actually wanted to date? I questioned: am I too picky? But screw that, I want to be picky. I don't want kids, so biologically I'm in no rush. I want big love with all its challenges and triumphs, and I'll wait for that. But as messaging time went on, what I discovered was two-fold: First, it broadened the type of guy I was looking for. There is no way 50 perfect guys were going to happen to be in my feed over the two days that I did the majority of the messaging. And a guy who looks ideal on paper doesn't mean he's going to be a potential romantic partner when met in person, anyway. Some guys I didn't consider fully ended up being the guys I actually dated for a while, too! So I started branching out a bit, messaging guys who had a lot of good going but who might be even better when we'd meet IRL. Which was sorta fun! Second, it changed the kinds of messages I sent. At first, I'd focus on something that seemed important to both of us, mince in something flirty, and sign off with a question so that he'd feel more of a pull to respond. By the time I was in the 20-something-message zone, they were three sentences and a bit more general. Did that make a difference? Overall, I messaged 33 men, and 13 responded, most of them within hours if not only a day. In contrast, my co-host, Ben, got only one return on the 20+ messages he sent in his own version of the experiment. There was no difference in response if I sent a particularly thoughtful message or something simple. Ben's take on that? You'd think that, hell, five dates from 33 messages to guys you actually wanna meet isn't bad, right? It wouldn't be if all five of those invites led to real dates. But out of those five guys plus the additional three that moved to texting conversations , only one led to a real, live, in-the-flesh meeting. And nine just ghosted completely at one point or another. The Takeaway: You can't take this personally. It was hard not to get my hopes up when those 13 responses came in quickly. But when things went dead -- especially the ghosters -- it's not like my world shifted. I felt no shame. I had lost nothing but time which, yes, is annoying. But you can't just passively wait for sex or fun or love to find you, right? You at least have to be out there -- online or looking in 3D -- and so the loss of time is pretty mild. No permanent damage done. You might think it's an innocent exchange, but people are online to date. Yes, there are various goals with what people want those dates to lead to, but it's not like we're trolling OkCupid, Bumble, Tinder or Match because we're bored most of the time. So when lame excuses or ghosting come? That's when it felt like a huge waste of time. We're in the same city. I told him he was lame and never heard back from him again. Another guy had sent a few fun emails back and forth and then said he wasn't really in a dating place. Another was traveling and told me he was psyched to meet up when he got back we didn't. Out of all of those 33 messages, I went out on one date. That date led to a second, and eventually a fifth and sixth. It led to hours-long conversations, and an exchange of books and ideas. Ultimately, it didn't work out. But that's OK, too. We're still in friendly correspondence, and a beautiful idea for a cookbook he shared on our first date is now in loose production. Yeah, there were guys I was genuinely interested in who never responded, and that sucks, because I'm actually online so that I can get offline for good and cancel these stupid smelly accounts. But scrolling through those flirty or deep or witty advancements now, not one of those guys jumps out as being so memorable that I'm mourning his absence in any way. I'm none the worse for wear. I learned to be brave.

Good first okc messages chat is something OkCupid lacks, but I like the idea, because it adds to tones not present in writing. Have been since day one. And like you said, women get a lot of messages, so repeat does sometimes get the response. I only fub to try this out for 30 days more so I guess I will find out if deleting that photo helps. Your mileage may vary with the cheesy approach; but if done well, you'll display a sense of humor and a tender heart. Example 2: Between your profile and your jesus, I have to say, you might be the prettiest girl in this part of the internet… Or just tell a joke… Example 3: How did the hipster burn his tongue?.

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released December 14, 2018

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